Teaching "Englishee"

Lucky. That would be the best word to describe the job I landed here in Korea. I work for a hagwon, which is a private English institution that the kids attend after their regular school hours. This means that I work from 1:30-9:00pm (thus sleeping from 3am-noon) Monday-Friday. The name of my school is the Korea Herald School, which is owned by an English newspaper that runs in Seoul. Other than the name, I have found no significant connection between the two.

Basics: I teach two kindergarten classes, six elementary school classes, and four middle school classes. I plan from 1:30-3:00 and then teach forty minute classes until 9:00. For each class, I have a book, as well as corresponding flashcards and tapes for each lesson. I get one forty minute break.

The one thing that is great and that sucks about my job is that I am the only native English speaker at my school...which is not very common. This means I work only with Koreans. Compared to most of the other English teachers here, this gives me extra drawbacks and advantages. Here they are:

Good Thing #1: I am spoiled rotten like an egg that's been left in the sun for way too long (please forgive the bad analogy, but Easter is just around the river bend and I have egg hunts on my mind). Mainly, this pertains to my apartment. I will write a blog on my apartment, but basically they hooked me up in more ways than one, so you'll hear about that later. Aside from my place, my Vice Director treats me like I am her long lost daughter (this could be because she is pregnant with her first child, but I am pretending it's because she loves me); she brings me food to school nearly everyday. Homemade kimchi. Cookies. Triangle gimbap. One day, it was this immaculate sandwich complete with cut-off crust. She also washes my sheets and brings me new blankets once a week. What a gem.

Good Thing #2: I am the only native speaker because my school is teeny tiny. My smallest class has three kids, and my biggest class has ten. This makes my job so incredibly easy. Coming from a place where I was teaching classes of 25-30, this is a piece-of-cake. I already know every kid by name, and I pretty much have the personalities down as well. I am also slowly finding out that I....gulp....like kids. I know, I know, I never thought those words would come out of my mouth either, but Korean kids are just so damn cute! They way they get so excited and say "I love my dog!" just melts my heart.

Bad Thing #1: I am the only person there that actually speaks English properly and with a wide vocabulary. At work, it is my Director, Roy, his wife and Vice-Director, Erica, my two fellow (and rockin') Korean teachers Bobbie and Elly, and our receptionist, Lynn. Erica's English is the best, she actually went to KU for a couple of years...which might have something to do with her convincing her husband to hire their first female teacher, ever. Next comes Elly, who has also spent time in the States and we can hold a decent conversation. Then Bobbie, who is giving me Korean lessons once a week (I can read!! Too bad I can never understand what I am reading). Roy comes in a lagging fourth and is always asking me the most stupid/hilarious questions and I am constantly finishing his sentences because he has a hard time thinking of the right word to say. Last is Lynn. She doesn't speak English. This gets pretty funny between the two of us because we both really want to talk to each other, but that only ever gets accomplished with an interpreter. However, she just began studying English and since I just began learning Korean, my hope is that we can have a conversation without a third party intervention by next March. Wait, what was my point? Oh yes. They all speak Korean all the time and I never have any idea what is going on.

Bad Thing #2: There is no one to cover me if I get sick. Which has already happened and my bosses had to teach my classes. Ever since I had to miss two days of work because of the laryngitis, Roy has made it more than a little obvious that he thinks I am lazy. Great. I mean, if we are being honest here, I am pretty lazy, but he shouldn't have seen through me already! In reality, however, I do really care if I am doing a good job or not, and it genuinely bothers me that he thinks I am not making an effort. Yeah, it's my fault I'm allergic to yellow dust. Maybe I should teach him the word "empathy".

There are about a million funny stories I could tell about work, but I will leave you with just a few select conversations, for now.

In my first grade class, the kids get a new book. We are learning the names of the characters in the book. Annie, Joe, Kate, Chris. Then we come to the token black kid.

Moris, Jimmy, and Nancy, in unison: "OBAMA!"
*Keep in mind, these are six-year-old Koreans. There is a lot to be said about the quality of education American children are getting compared to that of Korean children.
**Moris and Jimmy now refer to themselves as "Obama 1" and "Obama 2" in class. I find this quite humorous.

I am in the middle of class, when I hear Roy knocking frantically on my door and waving me into the hallway.

Roy: "I would not have stopped your class, but there is an emergency."
Me: "Okay..."

He proceeds to show me a worksheet with a picture of a frog on it, that has a word bubble saying "Rib-it".

Roy: "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!"
Me: "Rib-it, rib-it. It's what a frog says. Dogs say 'Ruff, ruff'. Frogs say 'Rib-it, rib-it.'"
Roy: "Oh. Thank you."
*In retrospect, the dog example might not have been the best one to use. In Korea, dogs say "mung, mung" and frogs say "carol, carol".

I am in my favorite class. It has four fifteen year old girls.

Me: "If I am describing myself, I tell how I look. I have blond hair, I have green eyes..."
Diane: "Teacher! Green eyes?" She looks at them closely. "Lenses?"
Me: "No, they are real."
Diane: "Teacher! These real?" She points to her eyelashes.
Me: "Yes, they are called eyelashes. They are real."
Diane: "Teacher! These real?" She grabs her boobs.
Me: "Yes, they are real."
Diane: "Oh Teacher, me envy!"

Well I have to get back to rubbing the only two won that I have left together. Payday is only 8 days away and I'm splurging on Mexican.